We were on track for another perfect-ish bedtime. Pjs were on, goodnight kisses to Dada & Bubba (aka Dolce, our Yorkie) we're given, clock struck 8p. We were just about to head upstairs for a book, prayers, snuggles, songs & bed as we did Every. Single. Night.
But then there was a dirty diaper. What? Wait. This kid pretty much poos by the clock & not usually when it strikes 8.
I won't go into detail, but this initiated a whole string of make-me-wish-I-didn't-have-exclusive-rights-to bedtime-events. There was naked hallway running, poo on clothes & hands & carpet, hair pulling, tears (not Santi's), bed jumping, begging, pleading & more.
After all was said and done, I almost missed out on the Little Engine that Could, some of the biggest snuggles & deepest hugs that I've had (maybe ever?), silly made up songs, unsolicited kisses & literal pats on the back.
I almost missed this, because once everyone was clean, redressed & calm-I actually lifted Santi into his crib, but a voice inside of me never let me put his feet on the mattress. I swung him out just as quickly as I had begun to swing him in. Over to the rocking chair we went to begin reading "choo choo."
I almost missed this because I was exhausted.
I almost missed it because I was in a hurry.
I almost missed it because I needed that peaceful, quiet {but elusive} "me" time. It's a snippet of a moment after work, the gym, dinner, bath, bedtime routine & cleaning up that's to myself {that sometimes I'm kind enough to share with my wonderful husband}. I look forward to it. Sometimes I crave it & sometimes I neeeeed it.
But I needed this more.
I needed my 2 year old to teach me about the concept of missed opportunity.
I almost missed it, but as I swung his feet over his crib I actually thought to myself, "don't let this be his last memory of you for today".
I did it for him, but then he did something even bigger for me. He gave me a lesson that I will use to try to be a better Mama to him.
Whether it's drop off at school, going down for a nap, sending him outside to play with Dada or transitioning from a melt-down to snuggles-I'll always try to make his last memory before the next one comes, just simply better. I'll take more time & remember that he's our only baby & this is as little as he's ever going to be. I'll remember that he needs me & I need him. I'll stop rushing & be present.
I'll keep his feet from touching the mattress.
Loved this! I try to remember it all the time and your blog was a good reminder to start today better. I read another blog called awesomely awake. Check it out.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lauren! I will have to take a look at it. And, I think we all need the reminder & I'm sure I'll need it again soon :)
ReplyDeleteLoved this -- well written!
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