Feet Off the Mattress

Bedtime with a 2 year old can be a struggle, but not usually with my 2 year old. Tonight was one of the biggest struggles I've ever had-with my usually routine driven, by the book, (almost) perfect sleeper. 

We were on track for another perfect-ish bedtime. Pjs were on, goodnight kisses to Dada & Bubba (aka Dolce, our Yorkie) we're given, clock struck 8p. We were just about to head upstairs for a book, prayers, snuggles, songs & bed as we did Every. Single. Night. 

But then there was a dirty diaper. What? Wait. This kid pretty much poos by the clock & not usually when it strikes 8.

I won't go into detail, but this initiated a whole string of make-me-wish-I-didn't-have-exclusive-rights-to bedtime-events. There was naked hallway running, poo on clothes & hands & carpet, hair pulling, tears (not Santi's), bed jumping, begging, pleading & more. 

After all was said and done, I almost missed out on the Little Engine that Could, some of the biggest snuggles & deepest hugs that I've had (maybe ever?), silly made up songs, unsolicited kisses & literal pats on the back. 

I almost missed this, because once everyone was clean, redressed & calm-I actually lifted Santi into his crib, but a voice inside of me never let me put his feet on the mattress.  I swung him out just as quickly as I had begun to swing him in. Over to the rocking chair we went to begin reading "choo choo."

I almost missed this because I was exhausted. 

I almost missed it because I was in a hurry.

I almost missed it because I needed that peaceful, quiet {but elusive} "me" time. It's a snippet of a moment after work, the gym, dinner, bath, bedtime routine & cleaning up that's to myself {that sometimes I'm kind enough to share with my wonderful husband}. I look forward to it. Sometimes I crave it & sometimes I neeeeed it. 

But I needed this more. 

I needed my 2 year old to teach me about the concept of missed opportunity. 

I almost missed it, but as I swung his feet over his crib I actually thought to myself, "don't let this be his last memory of you for today". 

I did it for him, but then he did something even bigger for me. He gave me a lesson that I will use to try to be a better Mama to him. 

Whether it's drop off at school, going down for a nap, sending him outside to play with Dada or transitioning from a melt-down to snuggles-I'll always try to make his last memory before the next one comes, just simply better. I'll take more time & remember that he's our only baby & this is as little as he's ever going to be. I'll remember that he needs me & I need him. I'll stop rushing & be present.

I'll keep his feet from touching  the mattress.  

Body Weight Only Matters if You're Lifting It

I remember being about 10 years old, preparing for a dance recital. My jazz costume was made of some fancy crushed red velvet with sequins around the leg cuff of shorts that were a little longer than what I call "booty shorts".

That was the first time I remember saying out loud that my thighs were too big. 

I said it to my mom, and I don't know if what I've cultivated in my own mind as her response is accurate, but now I think back and remember sadness in her eyes. She then of course, smiled & assured me that wasn't true & that I was beautiful, and strong & perfect the way I was...this I remember being true for sure.  She was & still is magical with the kindness & genuine spirit she has.

I was always comparing myself to my friends. I've always had a small(er) upper body & a seemingly disproportionately LARGE lower body. My thighs were always my point of anguish.

In high school, my nickname on the cheerleading squad was "Diesel". I was always a base. I supported the tiny little girls & would toss them high into the air to flip, twist & cradle. The thing that was most important to me about that role was that they trusted me. They knew I'd do everything in my power to keep them from hitting the ground-but I never appreciated my own strength. Or my thighs. Or my weight on the scale.

I never appreciated my own strength, my thighs or stopped paying attention to the number on the scale until I found Crossfit.

Do I still believe my thighs are big? Yes. But now I can squat well over 200# (ATG...if you know what that means :) and I can clean & jerk my body weight (150#) and deadlift almost 300#.  I can carry son up stairs or hills, I can jump like a crazy person with him...hell, I can just keep up with a 2 year old in general!  I On my journey through crossfit is when it clicked!!!

Now my legs look like this!

The number on the scale doesn't matter anymore.  I only want to know how much I weigh to see how many of my max lifts are at or above my body weight.  Body weight only matters if you're lifting it & weight only matters if it's on a barbell.

{BTW-the answer is 3.  I can deadlift, squat & Clean and Jerk my body weight plus much more.  I'm still working towards body weight lifts on snatch & bench press}

To be honest, I don't know what weight looks like anymore. If any one of the girls I workout with asked me to guess their weight-it would be just that. A guess. I weigh 150, but I've weighed that (or within a few pounds) forever (minus being pregnant with Santi). Do you know what 130 looks like vs 150 or 170? I don't. I surely would never be able to guess the weight of the tiny powerhouses that are well represented at the Cov. These ladies are incredible! They are deceptively strong & crush heavy weights. Never judge a book. Crossfit Covington breeds some bad ass ladies & I'd take a gamble to say weight isn't important to most of them. 

I don't know what weight looks like, but I do know what strong looks like...and it looks & feels pretty damn good!

Here are some of those bad ass ladies I speak of :)

Different shapes, sizes, weights, strengths & goats-but one thing in common...Amazing!

Since I've started Crossfit & primal/paleo eating I've lost 17# of fat. I've gained 15# of muscle. But overall there's only been ~1-2# loss on the scale. If I measured success by the scale as I'd done previously, I'd probably consider myself a failure. 4-6 days in the gym. Every single week. A clean diet (with some cheats in there, too) for almost 2 years & only a 1-2# loss? I could lose more than that with a stomach bug in a day!

But success is now measured differently. Success is now measured by how fast or strong or agile I am. It's a sense of freedom & feeling of accomplishment. It's breaking mental barriers to achieve physical feats I never thought possible. It's measured by Pounds on a Barbell not Pounds on a Scale.

Crossfit gave this to me. Nothing else my whole life was able to give this to me, but Crossfit did. So, for those of you who think this is an "obsession", maybe it is-but I'm a better person because of it.

Consider the kool-aid tasty. 

30 Days of Thanks

I'll share something I'm thankful for on each day of November. 

1.  Firetrucks- not only for their ability to help the brave men & women who ride on & drive them to save lives & help the community, but because I find so much happiness in the smiles, expressions & joy that they bring to Santi. 

2. Random signs of love- this was originally graffiti on the side of a building on South Congress (SoCo) Ave. in Austin, TX. Since it was left behind, others have defaced the original graffiti but the city keeps restoring it to it's original state! It draws you in and shouts, "take a picture with me!!"

3. On time flights- especially when traveling with a 2 year old. Need I say more?

4. Heaping Piles of Laundry- since we've returned from vaca, I've been laying in bed sick. The house is a mess, there's tons of laundry to be done, but it's a reminder that overall I am healthy & it will all get done...eventually. So, maybe it's my health I'm thankful for, but it was the laundry that reminded me. 

5. Playgrounds- and park visits this summer have allowed me to watch Santi grow & be a kid myself. They drain some of the endless energy Santi seems to have & bring so much happiness to all 3 of us!

6. My Career- is amazing!! After being back from nearly 2 weeks off-I'm thankful for my job, I'm thankful that I enjoy it, that I work with unbelievably talented people & we brand products that exist to try to improve the lives of the world's consumers. If you've only worked at P&G (which most of my colleagues have), you really have no idea of how fortunate we are!

7. Random acts of kindness- yesterday I found this postcard crumbled up & shoved through the chain link fence of the parking garage at work. I don't know why I stopped to look at what seemed like garbage, but it's pretty cool that I did & found this:

8. Jimmy- there's not enough space to write why. Yesterday he told me 4 times he was leaving in the a.m. to go to work & 3 of those times he came back to continue helping me with Santi (since he was being a little more of a handful than usual). Much appreciated, babe. Love you. 

9. IPhones- going out to dinner with our 2 year old & kidless friends goes much smoother with an iPhone & cartoons!

10. My cooking skills- sometimes there's nothing like a home cooked meal, even if I'm the one cooking it! Even better when your husband thinks you're so good he names a dish after you. Chicken Grillo (my maiden name):

11. Veterans- I am so grateful & honored that our American heroes choose to fight for me & millions of people they've never met. Endless amounts of thank yous to you. 

12. Girl talk- sometimes it happens on the phone with my VGs or at the gym after a tough workout or the (seemingly) elusive girls' night out. No matter when it happens, it makes my soul happy. 

13. FaceTime- and technology in general. Since none of our family lives close by we use it a lot! The fact that Santi will know his families because of it is amazing!

14. My parents- all of them. Tonight I went to the funeral of a friend who left too soon. She was a wife, sister, daughter and she was a mom. It made me think of amazing memories with my own parents as I looked at pictures of her with her sweet baby girl. They've given & taught me so much through my life & I'm so thankful for our amazing relationships. 

15. Jes- we are lucky to have found a super awesome babysitter who is so much more to us. Being able to trust your child with someone & know that that they are not only cared for & safe, but loved, learning & having fun is incredible. 

16. Date nights- with the hubby. Having time together to reconnect & just enjoy each other's company is fun! I keep telling him that we need to make sure we still like each other down the road, because after Santi grows up-it's just us again...and that sounds perfect :) last night was JT in concert:

17. Generosity- that I already see in Santi. Tonight he saw a present (toy) we bought for a friend's bday & he wanted it.  Tonight, together, we packed up toys he no longer plays with. Through both of these he wanted to play with/keep the toys, but I explained they weren't for him & that it's always a good thing to give. And both times he easily complied. Coincidence? Maybe. I'll just keep thinking it's a glimmer of good things to come. 

18. Dance parties- especially in the car on a longer than normal commute. I thought I was having one today to JT, but then looked over to my right to see a woman doing a full out wobble or dougie or Harlem Shake or whatever the kids are doing these days. Whatever it was, it put a smile on my face!

19. Being a crazy camera mom-tonight I sat and looked at pictures of Santi's 25 months on this earth & couldn't stop smiling & laughing. I'm so happy to have all of those memories captured forever & ever. 

20. A silly husband- I got an email from Jimmy this a.m. that included serious content followed by a Ron Burgandy picture & reference. I'm thankful that laughs are always flowing!

21. Fancy shoes- Coco Chanel said, "a woman with good shoes is never ugly."  Today I was having an ugly day, but threw on a flashy pair of shoes & that's all anyone could talk about. That woman is still at the utmost level of relevance. 

22. A Hot bath, Chocolate & Red Wine- to wind down on a Friday night. 

23. Christmas Spirit- we had an incredible family fun filled day putting me in the spirit! We took Santi on the Polar Express train ride (it was both of our 1st times on a train). He LOVED riding on a real choo choo, but wasn't really a fan of Santa.  Then I did some Christmas shopping & we decorated the house! I am totally in the spirit already & so excited for the holidays with the fam!

24. A Steelers Win- and having a hometown team that I can always be proud to cheer for, win or lose. I remember watching & learning about football with my Daddy as a little girl at my grandparents' house on Sundays. My first lesson was something like, " you see that orange cone down at the end of the field?" Followed by an emphatic  head nod yes by me. "We want the Steelers to get the ball past the cone & stop the other team from crossing it". Oooooohhh. Got it. Too bad I never saw the cone, but I eventually figured it out :)

25. A House full of boys- I'm out numbered, but tonight I was reminded of how much I love the wrestling & rambunctiousness that comes from living with 3 "boys". There were giggles & sneak attacks & grunts. And I loved them all!

26. Volunteers-so many people give so much for others. These people are true Saints in my book. I was reminded today by a man who gives >400 kids Christmas at St. Al's Orphanage-that may not otherwise have one. I want to be more like him. 

27. Having a home to come home to- for the holidays or just because. Having multiple homes to come "home" to is something I've always viewed as a blessing. I've spent holidays in Pittsburgh, Vegas, Corpus, NOLA & it's because we're lucky enough to have family who opens their hearts & homes to us-no matter where they are!

28. Memories- looking through all of the ornaments on my Mom's tree has always been one of my favorite parts of Christmas. She has always asked for an ornament from any trip I've ever taken, collected ornaments that are symbolic & have some kind of meaning & keeps a few "homemade" ornaments, too.  Because of this she has a tree full of memories to look back on...andalso got me started on this same tradition at our house! 

29. My Valley Girls- there will never be anyone like these girls. 20-25 years of friendship, crazy memories, college visits, break ups, weddings, babies, birthdays plus anything else you could imagine. Having friends like these girls is priceless. And getting everyone together makes my heart happy!

30. This life I've been given- a family & family in-law, health, a beautiful home, a second chance at life, a job I love, crossfit, full bellies, feelings of happiness & contentment and most of all our doggie (the gift that keeps on giving), a husband with a generous heart & our miracle baby who keeps a smile on our faces!

CF Deal of the Century

I just took advantage of the Crossfit deal of the century & thought it was important enough to share. 

If I were you, I would head to the closest Reebok Outlet store. Now. Immediately. Look online, maybe the deal is available there too??

I just purchased TWO pair of Nano 2.0s for the price of ONE. That's right. I just basically got a free pair of Nanos. 

The actual deal was buy any pair of shoes & get another for $19.99. The first pair I bought was also on sale, so I ended up getting both pairs for $100. 

You're welcome.