Feet Off the Mattress

Bedtime with a 2 year old can be a struggle, but not usually with my 2 year old. Tonight was one of the biggest struggles I've ever had-with my usually routine driven, by the book, (almost) perfect sleeper. 

We were on track for another perfect-ish bedtime. Pjs were on, goodnight kisses to Dada & Bubba (aka Dolce, our Yorkie) we're given, clock struck 8p. We were just about to head upstairs for a book, prayers, snuggles, songs & bed as we did Every. Single. Night. 

But then there was a dirty diaper. What? Wait. This kid pretty much poos by the clock & not usually when it strikes 8.

I won't go into detail, but this initiated a whole string of make-me-wish-I-didn't-have-exclusive-rights-to bedtime-events. There was naked hallway running, poo on clothes & hands & carpet, hair pulling, tears (not Santi's), bed jumping, begging, pleading & more. 

After all was said and done, I almost missed out on the Little Engine that Could, some of the biggest snuggles & deepest hugs that I've had (maybe ever?), silly made up songs, unsolicited kisses & literal pats on the back. 

I almost missed this, because once everyone was clean, redressed & calm-I actually lifted Santi into his crib, but a voice inside of me never let me put his feet on the mattress.  I swung him out just as quickly as I had begun to swing him in. Over to the rocking chair we went to begin reading "choo choo."

I almost missed this because I was exhausted. 

I almost missed it because I was in a hurry.

I almost missed it because I needed that peaceful, quiet {but elusive} "me" time. It's a snippet of a moment after work, the gym, dinner, bath, bedtime routine & cleaning up that's to myself {that sometimes I'm kind enough to share with my wonderful husband}. I look forward to it. Sometimes I crave it & sometimes I neeeeed it. 

But I needed this more. 

I needed my 2 year old to teach me about the concept of missed opportunity. 

I almost missed it, but as I swung his feet over his crib I actually thought to myself, "don't let this be his last memory of you for today". 

I did it for him, but then he did something even bigger for me. He gave me a lesson that I will use to try to be a better Mama to him. 

Whether it's drop off at school, going down for a nap, sending him outside to play with Dada or transitioning from a melt-down to snuggles-I'll always try to make his last memory before the next one comes, just simply better. I'll take more time & remember that he's our only baby & this is as little as he's ever going to be. I'll remember that he needs me & I need him. I'll stop rushing & be present.

I'll keep his feet from touching  the mattress.